December 29, 2024.
“So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, «Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.» And He said to them, «Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?» (Luke 2, 46-51)
This tale of Jesus lost in the Temple puts us in front of a generational conflict in the heart of the Sacred Family, a problem that always exists in any of our own families. However, above all, it places us with the solution to this problem. After the presentation of the problem – the child Jesus leaves his parents without warning them and they get extremely scared -, the Gospel offers us a solution. First: calm discussion; the Virgin does not appear to us furious, but rather calm and willing to negotiate; before judging she wants to hear an explanation for such a strange behavior from someone usually so docile as Jesus. He gives them an answer that does not completely convince them. The result is that harmony is reestablished and the child reunites with his parents “continuing under their authority”.
Therefore, what should we do when there are problems at home? First, discuss, listen, give the other an opportunity to explain, listen to his reasons, put yourself in his place, understand his circumstances given age or weariness. Second, fix the limits of what cannot be tolerated but accepting the base of legitimate liberty, differentiating with which the family would be a hell and not a home, and what breaks the unity and turns the family into a cheap boarding house. Thirdly: apply the consequences without fear and establish authority without becoming authoritarian, knowing what the service that must be given is. A home without order is as bad as a home with tyranny. Nowadays the most frequent is an overly permissive education, such that when the parents want to remedy the situation they discover it is already to late.
Intentions: Listen to the other and try to understand them putting yourself in their place. Give the appropriate reasons. Accept or impose authority, always respecting legitimate rights.